To Wish, Perchance To Ed
by SistersoftheStory
Summary: A strange connection between Edd & Eddy threatens to tear the Eds apart... Slash. A collaboration written by GhostHelwig and Mysticlynx! Chapter 4 now up!
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note- This story is the baby of not one author, but two.  Mysticlynx (her) and GhostHelwig (me).  Each chapter will be written by just one of us, but all plot points, etc., belong to us both.  This chapter, obviously, is mine.  Because I'm the idiot who drew the short straw.

Disclaimer- Mysticlynx and I (GhostHelwig) do not own or profit from Ed, Edd N Eddy.  We are simply in need of a great deal of mental help.

Rated R for sexual situations, violence, slash, blah, blah, blah.  You've heard it all before, I'm sure.  So onward and upward and forward, my friends!  Enjoy!

Peace, all.

To Wish, Perchance To Ed

Chapter One

by Ghost Helwig

     He didn't know where he was, yet he knew he'd been there many times before.

     It was all so _familiar_.  The brick fireplace before him, the cold cabin all around him, the stillness of the air – he knew this place.  And more than that, he _loved_ this place.

     He knew he was waiting, too, that he'd been waiting for a long time, though he could not recall why.  But he was waiting, waiting for someone...

     The door opened, letting in the bitter cold of the outside air, but somehow he was suddenly warm...

     "Geez, Double D, what are you, a polar bear?"  Oh, he knew that voice, that chastising, teasing tone...  "Light a fire, for Pete's sake."

     "But its warm here, Eddy," he whispered.

     Arms wrapped around him from behind, pulled him close, as soft, warm lips brushed his ear.  "It's warm now," that same voice, gentler now, murmured to him, and he smiled.

     Not knowing why, he found himself speaking, wishing he wasn't even as he did so.  "I thought I'd never recover from having to abandon our home," he began haltingly, not wanting to disturb the peace that surrounded them, not even understanding his own words, "but I really love it here.  Just us and the forest, with only Ed knowing where we are..."

     That hot mouth captured his earlobe, sucked on it a bit before responding.  "I like it here, too," Eddy said simply.  "I like being here with you."

     Oh yes, it was very warm here.

     Double D turned his head to capture that mouth with his own, losing himself in the pleasure, the warm liquid _life_ flooding his veins at the hot touch of those lips on his.  The candlelight flickered steadily lower as they kissed, and kissed...

     Shadows played over the wall, changing, falling away.  Lights from outside were shining into their haven, but both boys were too caught up in their leisurely kissing to notice...

     A rock flew through the window, shattering it, spraying them both with glass.  They sprang apart, then with horrified glances at each other turned as one to the broken window.

     Shouts were suddenly going up outside, angry yells and jeers and cries.  Neither boy was naive enough to believe for a moment that those shouts were in their defense.  When the yells increased in volume, the words confirmed their deepest fears.

     "Abominations!"

     "How dare you defy the Good Lord and his teachings!"

     "Catamites!  You'll burn in hell!"

     "Repent now for your sins!"

     "You'll _burn in hell_!"

     Double D knew what was coming, suddenly, and flung his arms around Eddy as bits of glass tumbled down to the floor around them.

     An orange-bright glow was growing outside, and without a word Eddy placed his hand on the back of Double D's head, turning Double D's face away.

     Another window was broken when someone flung a torch through it.  All too soon more torches were flying in the broken windows, Double D could hear them crackling, and the sound was the same as insane laughter to his terrified ears.  He threw back his head and screamed-

     And woke up tangled in his bedcovers, sweat-soaked, teary-eyed, and shaking.

-------

     He didn't sleep any more that night.  He couldn't.  Every time he shut his eyes he remembered, not the yelling or the flames or the fear, but the feel of Eddy's lips on his, half-devouring, half-caressing.  Who knew Eddy could kiss with such gentle, burning passion...?

     But what was he thinking?  He hadn't kissed Eddy, no matter how real it had felt at the time...

     And he wouldn't even want to kiss Eddy.  How could he overlook that simple fact?  He and Eddy were just friends...

     Double D buried his head in his pillow, inhaling the sweet scent of clothes soap and trying to slow the incessant pounding of his own heart.  He was being silly about this, he really was...  Dreams were nothing more than random synapses firing in the sleeping brain...  Though it was true that they could affect your everyday life, it was only if you _let_ them, which was something he would most certainly _not_ be doing...  How childish he was being, to let a simple dream affect him so deeply...

     But even knowing that couldn't keep him from blushing at the thought of what Eddy would say if he knew.

     Would Eddy be disgusted?  Annoyed?  Indifferent?  If he somehow discovered that Double D had had a... slightly erotic... dream about him, would he even react at all?

     Knowing Eddy, he'd probably freak and get swiftly over it when something more interesting (like a new scam, or Nazz) came along.  And that thought was strangely comforting.

     Besides, Double D could always tell him that the dream was caused by reading one too many historical novels before bed – and it undoubtedly was.  The curse of being an avid reader; his imagination was hopelessly askew by now.  It was almost as bad as reading Ed's crazy comics...

     But that place in his dream had felt so familiar... so cozy... so like a _home_.  In ways Double D was uncomfortable acknowledging, it had felt more like a home than the house he was lying awake in...

     As his mind began to lose its coherency, settling into the slow haze of exhaustion he would remain in until daylight touched his bedroom, he found himself idly wondering what Eddy was dreaming about at this very moment.  A new scam, maybe, or a romantic day with Nazz...  Certainly Eddy was dreaming of anything but him...


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note- Hello, Mysticlynx here with a brand new chapter! Huzzah! ahem As you should know this story is written by two different authors: Ghosthelwig (she got stuck doing the first chapter heehee) and myself. This chapter is from Eddy's perspective, considering the lovely cliffy Ghost left in the previous chapter (I love you, Ghost!). This story will remain in third-person…I know how much you all care about that.

Disclaimer- Ghosthelwig does not own or gain profit from Ed, Edd N Eddy (but, she does own Edd) nor do I (I ownz Eddy!). We simply, as Ghost said, are greatly disturbed.

Rated R for sexual situations, violence, slash, and swearing. You know the drill, so on to the story!

To Wish, Perchance To Ed

Chapter 2

by Mysticlynx

He hated, no, _despised_ banquets.

Every year it was the same thing. Ever since he had come of age, his parents would set up these parties in hopes of finding him a bride. Eddy wanted nothing to do with these stuck-up tramps.

Sure, they were beautiful, but he knew the real reason they always attended his parties. Money. His family was rich and Eddy had learned at a very young age of the value of cold, hard cash. He had also learned how women felt about it.

"Sir Edgar! What a dashing suit you have!" A blonde wearing a blue silk dress had walked up to him.

Eddy put on his fake smile. He was used to encounters like this. "Why, thank you Lady Nazriel!" His tone was so full of sugar it made Eddy want to vomit. "Mother had it made by the best tailor around! Where did you find that dazzling diamond tiara?"

God, he hated himself. He allowed his mind to wander as she explained, in great detail, where she bought her jewelry.

Eddy kept the smile plastered on his face as he took a sip of wine. Nazriel, or Nazz as she was called for short, was the most desirable woman in the area. Any man would die to have her, whether her true intentions were to claim their money or not.

And here she was, blatantly flirting with him, and he _knew_ he should care. Even as he noticed every male guest in the room glare at him, he just couldn't bring himself to care.

The problem was, he wasn't attracted to her even though he should be. His mother had made the excuse that it was because he was picky and was only looking out for their fortune. But, he knew the real reason.

He'd noticed it when he was younger, how he was never aroused like the other boys as they peeped in the girls dressing room. The only time he'd ever been aroused was when he had walked in on one of his older, male servants changing.

Eddy had swiftly hid his arousal and yelled at he boy to get back to work. But, the images of that rippling, sun-burnt back caused kept him awake at night. Awake, until he took the situation into his own hands (literally) in the privacy of his bedroom.

He had the boy fired within a week because Eddy could no longer concentrated with him around. Yes, Eddy knew what the problem was. He was a homosexual and the more he denied it, the more his thoughts persisted.

The thought of being queer scared him to the core. It was forbidden to be a homosexual in these times and it was punishable by exile and retribution. It went against the very bible his family based their faith upon. But, Eddy could do nothing about it, nothing except become abstinent. He at least owed his family that much honor.

He would continue practicing abstinence until the day he was forced to bed a woman, and he hope to God that day would never come. He had been quite successful in keeping his desires in check. He was quite proud, actually. As Eddy saw it, if he could pretend to be a pompous, penny-pinching jerk, how hard could it be to be 'normal'?

Eddy was shaken out of his reverie as he realized Nazz was attempting to get his attention. She was hinting for him to ask her to dance and, as the chivalrous thing to do, he could only oblige.

He offered his hand and began dancing to a waltz. Eddy took pride in having such nimble, graceful feet and proceeded to sweep Nazz off her feet. Eddy smiled at the spectacular show he was putting on. No one would suspect a thing...

Eddy dipped Nazz and glanced up. He nearly dropped her. The most gorgeous creature Eddy had ever seen had entered the room.

Long, raven hair tied back into a pony-tail. A sweet, innocent face donned with green, soulful eyes. Eddy thought he would die right there.

His eyes followed the boy as he took a glass of wine from a servant and leaned casually against a wall, looking uncomfortable.

Eddy would have stared at him forever if he hadn't realized he still had Nazz in a dip. She looked none too pleased. He let her up quickly and apologized profusely using the excuse of being preoccupied. She forgave him easily enough and began yammering on about something else Eddy wasn't paying attention to. He was still watching that gorgeous boy…

The boy in question had given up on his wine, not seeming to like alcohol all that much, and was heading out to Eddy's balcony.

Without thinking about it, Eddy gave an excuse of not feeling well and left a slightly put out Nazz by herself. Eddy's feet were heading toward the balcony while his mind screamed at him: '_What the hell are you doing?! You know it's forbidden! And what if he turns you in for being a degenerate? What then?'_

Eddy's mind blanked out completely as he gazed out the balcony doors. The image he saw took his breath away. The boy had taken his almost unnaturally long hair out of the ponytail, seeming much more comfortable with it down. The wind caused it to flow around his face as he leaned over the balcony edge, gazing upwards at the moon. He was so enraptured, he hadn't noticed Eddy's arrival.

Eddy caught a light scent in the air that he knew was coming from the boy. _'Ah.' _he thought. '_Honeysuckle.'_

Eddy was so entranced by the sweet scent that he didn't notice immediately when the boy turned around. A shy, sweet voice broke through his cloudy mind. "Excuse me?"

Eddy noticed the boy staring at him intently and immediately put on his most dashing smile. The same smile he used when talking to women that fancied him. He knew the effect alone could bring women to their knees, but what effect will it have on this boy?

"Hello." Eddy began. "I couldn't help noticing you looking so forlorn out here on the balcony. Does my party bore you?" He asked, his smile never wavering.

The boy blinked, seemingly unaffected by Eddy's smile. "_You're _Sir Edgar?" He asked, confused.

Eddy's smile dropped slightly at the lack of reaction from him. "Yes, I am. I see you've obviously heard of me." He continued, boasting. "However, I have never heard of you. May I ask your name?"

Eddy's name, which usually brought people to their knees, caused a negative reaction in the boy. His eyes dulled and his expression became considerably bland.

Despite this though, the boy continued as though he were interested. He held out his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. My name is Edward."

Instead of being angry, Eddy found himself amused at this boy's inability to hide his emotions. He shook his hand, slightly disappointed at the boy's, no, Edward's lack of reaction to him.

That was when Eddy made the dumbest mistake of his young life. Intrigued by the silky, softness of the boy's hand, he wondered vaguely of how that skin would taste. He brought Edward's hand up to his lips. "The pleasure is all mine." He whispered as he brought up that hand for a light kiss.

Color flushed into Edward's cheeks so quickly that Eddy feared that he would burst into flames.

Edward wrenched his hand away from Eddy's grasp and stuttered. "I-I really must be going now." He continued, quickly. "It was nice meeting you." He bowed and nearly tripped over himself as he escaped.

Eddy watched him go, licking his lips. His skin had tasted just as sweet as he smelled. Eddy shook himself mentally. He had to follow that boy. Even if he wasn't attracted to him he couldn't run the risk of being reported.

"Mother, I'm going out for some fresh air. I feel a bit woozy." A vague murmur of assent was his only response. Eddy wondered why he had even bothered telling her. She was far to busy entertaining to notice his absence.

He exited his home and ran down the flights of stairs, cursing the builders for making such a large house. He was nearly panting as he got down the third flight when he saw Edward swiftly turn the corner. "Hey, wait!" He cried, not noticing at first that his foot had caught the banister. Before he knew it, he was falling, falling…

And he landed on the floor beside his bed, tangled in sheets.

--------------------------

Eddy sat on the floor, perplexed. Thoughts of 'What_ the hell was that?_' ran through his mind continually. He had turned the dream over in his mind several times already and came to the same conclusion. Out of all the crazy shit he's ever dreamt about, not one dream had ever been about being attracted to Double D.

That was the part of the dream that stood out foremost in his mind. The hard-on (_definitely _not morning wood) that he had had also brought the dream into clearer perspective. This bodily reaction greatly disturbed Eddy because he could imagine being aroused by Nazz, but not his best friend Double D!

Nazz had even been in the dream and had his body reacted? The answer was a resounding 'no' in his mind. And he _knew_ he wasn't gay. Come on, Eddy? Being gay? The guy that women practically crawled to? Definitely not. But, even as Eddy tried to convince himself, his body didn't listen.

Eddy sighed as he got up, noting the light coming through his window. By the looks of it, it was early morning. The earliest Eddy had ever gotten up and he sure as hell wasn't going back to sleep. Taking a shower seemed like his best bet.

Eddy walked into the bathroom and carelessly stripped himself of his usual boxers and t-shirt. He set the taps on the shower and jumped in without checking the temperature.

'Shit! That's cold,' he thought, as icy jets sprayed him. It had the desired effect on his body though, so he didn't bother adjusting the temp. He began washing his hair, forcefully pushing the dream from his mind. He didn't want anyone to notice him acting oddly.

Double D popped into his mind unbidden and he wondered what his friend's reaction would be if he told him about the dream. Smirking, he imagined his friend's nagging voice in his mind: "Dreams are just a product your mind makes up randomly…blah blah blah…they are not real," it said, speaking shrilly. Even in Eddy's head Double D's words tended to bore him. But, it was still comforting. It meant that the dream meant nothing and should not affect him.

Eddy finished his shower feeling a lot better. He slipped on his 'cool duds' and began applying copious amounts of gel to his blonde hair. It had grown much longer in his teenage years and had become much more difficult to tame. Once a generous supply of gel was in his hair, he entered his room and looked into his vanity mirror.

Dark circles were under his eyes and he looked weary from a lack of sleep. He attempted a smile as he combed his hair back and prepared to leave. Once his mask was in place, he exited the room with an arrogant strut and his cocky smirk still in place.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes – GhostHelwig here again, bringing you this, the third chapter.  For your Ed-ification, the two memories in this chapter come from the episodes "Rambling Ed" (the one where Ed moves out of his house) and "Stop, Look, Ed" (the one where Double D loses it because everyone is breaking rules).

Disclaimer – I do not own or profit from Ed, Edd N Eddy.  Nor does Mysticlynx.  We just like playing in the Eds' cul-de-sac...  Rated R for slashy, romantic goodness.  You were warned – like, _repeatedly_.

To Wish, Perchance To Ed

Chapter Three

by Ghost Helwig

     "Really, Eddy," Double D said scathingly, "fortune-telling _again?_  Wasn't the failure of our last venture in the world of psychic phenomena enough to convince you that this realm is not out forte?"

     Eddy scowled at him.  They'd been at each other's throats all morning, arguing over the smallest, stupidest things – this was just the latest 'difference of opinion' they'd had that day...

     Eddy didn't know what Double D's less-than-pleasant mood had been caused by, but he knew what caused his.

     Stupid dream.

     "Just shuddup and get dressed," Eddy growled, thrusting a bundle of clothes into Double D's waiting arms.  Rebellion flashed in Double D's green eyes, but he took the clothes without a word and hurried into Eddy's house to change.

     When he returned, the scowl was now on _his_ face.

     "A _dress_?!"  Double D stalked up to Eddy and stood in his path, face incredulous.  "Eddy, you can't be serious."

     "'Course I'm serious, Sockhead," Eddy said, eyeing the long, flowing emerald dress Double D had obediently donned.  Funny how he hadn't realized when 'borrowing' the dress from his mother's stash of old, outgrown clothes that it perfectly matched Double D's eyes...

     He shook himself mentally (_stupid, _stupid_ dream_), and went on blithely, "fortune-tellers are usually women, Einstein.  And we wanna be believable, right?"

     Double D frowned deeply but said nothing.  He'd learned long ago to pick his battles with Eddy, and this silky, form-fitting dress, though terribly embarrassing, could be a lot worse-

     "You need a chest," Eddy suddenly laughed, and Double D grew impossibly flustered, his hands twisting nervously in the air.

     "I do _not_ – need – a – a _chest_."  He blushed becomingly.

     "Yeah, you do, Sockhead," Eddy said in his best 'I'm-not-backing-down' voice.  Before Double D could think of a suitable reply, Eddy turned away from him and called out, "hey, Lumpy!  C'mere!"

     Ed looked up from lettering a piece of cardboard.  Eddy had told him to write 'Meet The Great Madam Edsmeralda!  Only 25 cents!' but at the moment he was misspelling the word 'madam' ('Madem') in his tidiest scrawl...

     "The gravy train is on its way!" he cried, bounding over and skidding to a stop in front of his friends.  Eddy shook his head at Ed's natural, buoyant enthusiasm, grinning just a little.  Ed could make anyone smile...

     "Stay here, Lumpy, and don't let anyone touch anything."  Eddy waved to the tent they'd erected by stringing dark blue sheets between two trees for emphasis.

     Ed grinned brightly at Eddy, and slapped his own forehead in what was obviously intended to be a salute.  "I shall let you down, Eddy!"  His grin widened as his eyes slid out of focus.  Eddy sighed, frowning.

     "Whatever," he muttered, and turned to grab Double D's arm.  "C'mon, Sockhead."  He began pulling Double D towards his house, and after a moment of futile resistance Double D gave up and let himself be dragged docilely along.

     "Really, Eddy," he said when they were standing in front of Eddy's mother's dresser, "won't your mother complain when she discovers you've appropriated her clothes for another of your scams?"

     "She'll never notice they're missing, Sockhead," Eddy replied confidently, rolling his eyes at his friend's constant need to find a problem with his scams.  "She doesn't even fit in that dress anymore, and," he whipped open the second drawer from the top, "she has bunches of these."

     There did seem to be a lot of bras stuffed in the drawer, ranging from white and concealing to red and lacy to black and revealing, as well as many colors and designs in between.  Double D blinked at the messy contents, feeling his cheeks heat up again.

     "Go on, Sockhead," Eddy prompted when he didn't move.  "Pick one."

     "I – I don't know how to '_pick_ one'," Double D said testily.  "Really, Eddy, I feel this is unnecessa-"

     "Oh, for cryin' out loud," Eddy griped, glaring at Double D.  When that produced no response but a slightly raised eyebrow, he grimaced.  "Fine, fine, _I'll _pick one," he grumbled, cheeks pinker than normal as he shoved a hand in the drawer and fumbled around, staring intently at the various bras he pulled out with even his neck flushing.

     Finally he withdrew a bra that looked even tinier than all the others, very pretty and, despite being black, very nearly see-through in places.  Obviously it was intended for a woman to wear on a night of seduction, and Double D couldn't look at it without blushing furiously.  Some part of him was impressed that Eddy could even look at it, knowing it was his _mother's_, let alone touch it – the rest of him was just plain horrified.

     "Here," Eddy said, shoving the bra into his hands.  "I knew Mom would have one small enough for you.  Put it on.  We'll stuff it after.  What d'ya think we should use?  Tissues?"  As Double D began fumbling with the zipper on the back of the dress, his eyes carefully averted from Eddy's as he tried to hide his embarrassment, Eddy crossed his arms over his chest and went right on talking.

     "Nah, tissues won't move with ya.  Maybe water balloons?"  His blue eyes narrowed in thought, while beside him Double D struggled to get his arms free of the dress without letting it fall to his waist.  Oblivious, Eddy went on, "you'll have to avoid gettin' too close to Lumpy, though, or he'll pop ya."  He laughed, finally looking at Double D.  "But who cares if you get a little wet, right?"

     Double D didn't bother answering; he'd gotten his arms out of the flowing sleeves of the dress and into the straps of the bra, but now he was trapped.  If he tried to reach behind him to hook the bra, the dress would slide down, and he'd be left standing beside Eddy in his underwear.  Even if his dream from the night before hadn't still been haunting him, he still would not have been comfortable letting that happen.

     "Eddy," he said nervously, "I – I am incapable of performing the required actions to lock this feminine undergarment upon my body."  Eddy just looked at him blankly, for a long moment.

     Double D shut his eyes briefly, letting a breath out through the gap in his teeth.

     "I need help," he clarified.

     Eddy glared at him a minute more, but decided not to comment.  _Your scientific mind can't handle bra hooks?_ Eddy thought as he moved behind Double D.  _Geez, Sockhead, how're you ever gonna get laid?_

     But he kept his thoughts to himself, instead reaching for the two sides of the bra where they hung loosely from under Double D's arms.  He had to move closer, and all of a sudden he could feel heat radiating from Double D-

     As well as the light scent of honeysuckle.

     He froze.

     While in front of him Double D froze as well, stunned by the heat radiating from Eddy and the hot breath he could feel on his ear.  This was just like his dream – all he need do to complete the picture would be to half-turn, to give Eddy access to his mouth so they could share a deep, passionate, soul-searing kiss...

     Without thinking, Double D turned a little, gazing over his shoulder at Eddy with half-lidded eyes.  He watched Eddy lick his lips, and something warm unclenched in his stomach, flooding his body with liquid heat.  His own lips parted, just a little, slowly getting wet with his suddenly rapid breathing...

     Eddy had to force his hands to move, to pull the straps towards each other.  His hands slid along Double D's smooth skin, feeling it turn to goose bumps under his gentle caress, and he swallowed hard once, twice.

     He stared in growing fascination at the pale skin so trustingly displayed to him, admiring the shoulder blades, the barely visible knobs of the spine.  He dropped the bra straps and just _touched_, not thinking, just _feeling_, wanting...

     Without thinking, Eddy leaned down, and gently kissed Double D's back.

     The trance broke.

     Both boys froze.  Eddy's mind kept whirring on, though, supplying him with the light flavor on his lips: _honeysuckle_.

     He pulled back, unable to meet Double D's eyes.  If he'd looked, he would've realized that Double D had turned his head, facing forward, unable to look at him, either...

     Both boys could feel their cheeks flushing, and Eddy hurriedly hooked the bra, touching Double D as little as possible.  He pulled a bit too hard and let go too quickly – the bra snapped against Double D's delicate flesh.  He jumped, and Eddy could just imagine the slight reddening of that pale, abused skin, could see himself gently kissing all over it to make it better...

     He jerked backwards, annoyed by his thoughts, annoyed by the urgent stiffening in his jeans that just _would not go away_.  He spun around, determined to pretend none of this had ever happened.

     "Get dressed," he said tersely, making it sound with those few harsh words as though Double D had been stripping for him and he found it repulsive.  "I'll go, ah – make the boobs."

     He paused for a moment, thrown by the absurdity of his own statement, then left quickly – he couldn't get away fast enough to soothe his aching conscience...

     While Double D stayed with his arms clutching the dress to his chest, feeling the kiss Eddy had left on him like a brand.

-------

     Ed had found his way into the makeshift tent by nearly ripping down one side.  It hung half-off the branch, but he would not have known how to fix it even if it had occurred to him to do so – which it didn't.

     Instead, he was tapping the side of the crystal ball, smiling into the opaque depths.  "I want a chicken," he whispered to the wish-granting fairy he currently believed was inside the ball.  "Chicken for Ed."

     As he watched, the swirling depths within the crystal ball seemed to really _swirl_, to drift and change shape before his startled eyes.  Convinced he really was about to get a chicken, he leaned closer, staring in...

     And saw Eddy kissing the pale expanse of Double D's back.

     He frowned.  What were his friends doing in the fairy ball when they were supposed to be making Double D into a girl?  And why did the inside of the fairy ball look like Eddy's parents' room?  He reached towards the ball to pull them out-

     And froze when the picture changed.

     It was still Eddy and Double D.  Only their clothes looked funny, and Double D wasn't wearing his hat – instead, his beautiful long hair (that he'd only ever 'let' them see down once) was pulled back in a loose ponytail...  In fact, when Ed looked closer he realized that Double D had no shirt on at all...  That was strange...  And they were in a room Ed had never seen before, surrounded by candles...

     Double D was sprawled on his stomach on a big, fancy-looking bed, one even Ed knew none of their parents could ever afford.  Eddy knelt on the bed beside him, and as Ed watched, entranced, Eddy leaned over Double D and began kissing his bare back, his lips traveling lower and lower and lower...

     Ed could practically hear Double D's moaning, could see his lips forming those soft sounds, and he blushed.  But he kept staring, unable to help himself, wanting to see what Eddy would do next...

     _"Ed!"_

     Ed jumped at the sound of Eddy's angry voice, and the picture disappeared.  He stared a moment longer, wishing it would return, staring intently at the once more opaque glass...

     "_Ed!_  What did you do to the tent?!"

     Ed looked at the half-down side of the tent, and laughed gaily.  It looked like the curtain in 'Alien Beings From Planet Narubi Part One: The Second Coming'.  He burst through the sheet, bringing the whole thing crashing down, shouting, "Back, evil space aliens!"

     Eddy was standing at his front door.  He did not look happy.  Ed laughed again.

     It was good to see Eddy again, all life-sized and angry and doing something Ed actually understood – yelling at him.

     Too bad about the chicken, though.


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note: Hokay, I think I went a bit crazy with this chapter. I swear, this is not where I expected it to go! But, Ghost seems to like it so whatever.

Disclaimer: Ghost and I do not own the Eds, Dammit! Stop calling me!!!!

Rated R for sexual situations, violence, swearing, and SLASH!!!!

To Wish, Perchance To Ed

Chapter Four

by Mysticlynx

"Damn Ed!" Eddy growled as he began filling up the breasts, er, water balloons.

It had taken him forever to get the sheet back up for the tent. Thankfully, there were no holes in it, but that still didn't make him any less cranky.

_CRASH!_

"_ED! Put down the sheet before I come over there and throttle you!" Ed's laughter didn't do much to soothe Eddy's temper. "THAT'S IT! You're gonna be wearing that sheet on your head!"_

_KERSPLASH!_

Eddy stood in shock as the whole front of his shirt was soaked in water. How could he forget about the water balloon?! He shivered as his shirt clung uncomfortably to his form.

The cold water _did _manage to calm his temper, though.

"Ed." He began slowly, as he pulled the annoying piece of elastic off the faucet. "Can you put the tent back up without wreckin' anything?"

Ed turned towards Eddy with the sheet still covering his face. "Aye, Aye, Sir Eddy!" He gave an odd hand motion through the sheets which Eddy assumed was another salute. He ambled off toward the tent, tripping over the sheet a couple times.

Eddy groaned as he noticed the mud stains on the sheet. If his mother didn't yell at him for that, Double D would be sure to nag about it.

_Double D... His cheeks flushed as he remembered what happened in his parents bedroom only moments ago. He doubted Double D would bring it up, being as shy as he was. But, that was a good thing! Everything that had happened had only been a weird side effect to the dream he had! It was meaningless, right?!_

Eddy shook his head when he realized he was trying to convince himself of something obvious. It was just a dream and that was that. Edd would forget about what happened, they've been through weirder times. Like, when Kevin forced him to kiss Double D so he wouldn't reveal his embarrassing middle name. They never spoke of that again!

Eddy reached into the bag of water balloons and unconsciously picked out two green ones. The filling balloon reminded Eddy of Double D's ever widening eyes as he kissed his lips. So soft...So sweet...

Eddy roughly shook his head as he finished filling the balloon. _'Perfect size.' _He thought to himself. As he filled the second one, Eddy decided that he was really hard-up for some lovin' if he was fantasizing about Double D's lips. (Which he'd never admitted was his first and only kiss.) Not to mention dreaming of him. _God, I need a girlfriend._

He filled up the other balloon and tied it, deciding to drop the subject. They were doing a scam! Now was not the time to be worrying about his hormones. He walked up to his house and unceremoniously kicked the door open. "Hey Double D! Where are ya?"

"In the facilities, Eddy!"

Eddy rolled his eyes and wondered why he couldn't say 'toilet' like the rest of the world. He walked to the bathroom and tried the door, only to find it locked. "Well, come out! I have your...um...boobs ready!"

The door opened a crack and Double D held his hands out. "Okay, hand them to me!"

Eddy raised an eyebrow. "Don't you need help puttin' them on?" Did he just say that?

"NO!" Double D said, in a slightly panicked voice. "No! I think I can do it myself!"

"Okaaay. Here." He placed the balloons in Double D's hand. "But, don't bitch at me if you pop one." He chuckled, amused by the idea of Sockhead popping a boob.

Another loud crash was heard.

Eddy cursed. "I'll be outside, come out when you're ready." He stalked off, grumbling about never leaving Ed alone.

Double D sighed in relief as he heard the tell-tale sound of Eddy's yelling outside. He stared in the mirror, face still flustered. He had been splashing his face repeatedly for the last ten minutes in hopes of getting rid of the blush and the heat he felt. The spot where Eddy kissed him still burned pleasurably, but it was very distracting.

Double D unconsciously shuddered as he remembered what happened only moments ago. How was he supposed to react to that? He imagined Eddy had already forgotten about it, blaming it on the summer heat. But, it was much too difficult for him to forget. It had been so much like the dream... He hoped Eddy's new scam would be enough to distract him from his thoughts. It certainly would be embarrassing enough.

He glanced at the water balloons and smiled when he noticed the color. He wondered if Eddy had done that deliberately. He sighed as he pulled down the front of the dress. He hoped they didn't pop. He carefully placed one balloon in the right cup of the ahem bra, shivering as the cool elastic made contact with his skin. Deciding that they wouldn't pop, he quickly placed the other balloon in the left cup and adjusted the bra accordingly.

He nearly squeaked as he zipped up the dress, the cool balloons were pressed tighter to his chest, causing goose bumps to appear on his arms. Why couldn't Eddy have used warm water? After adjusting the dress, he glanced in the mirror. The faulty breasts did seem to look more realistic than tissue paper. Not only that, but the blush had faded from his skin. This didn't stop him from feeling extremely foolish anyway.

Edd sighed as he pulled on the dress shoes Eddy brought for him, thankful he didn't have to wear pantyhose, but angry that the dress wasn't long enough to cover his feet. He looked nothing like a girl! How Eddy expected to fool everyone in the cul-de-sac was beyond him. At least it would be dark in the tent.

Edd glanced at himself in the mirror one last time before heading outside, making sure to swallow a good portion of his pride to do this.

When he stepped outside the first thing he noticed was the lack of chaos in Eddy's front yard. He had expected Eddy to be chasing Ed while he tore up everything in his path. He was completely surprised to see everything was already set up and in perfect order. Edd vaguely wondered if he'd stepped into the 'Twilight Zone'.

"Greetings Madam Esterzelda!" Ed popped up in front of him with the crystal ball balanced on his head. "Can you see into the sole of my shoes?"

"It's Edsmerelda, burrhead! Now give me that before you break something else!" Eddy growled, yanking the fragile antique off his head.

"Aww, but Eddy! Extra-salsa was going to read my shoes!" Ed whimpered, trying to look like a wounded puppy.

"You're not wearing shoes, Ed!" Eddy said, exasperated.

Ed looked at his bare feet in surprise. "Where did they go? Come back little shoes!" Ed ran down the street towards his house.

"YOU BETTER BE BACK IN TEN MINUTES OR YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY OF THE DOUGH!" Eddy yelled after him.

Double D stood there, observing all this while keeping his arms crossed over the fake breasts. The idea of exposing these things made him extremely uncomfortable.

"Damn lummox..." Eddy muttered as he turned towards Double D. He flushed when he gazed into his eyes and noticed Double D had done the same. He quickly averted his eyes and backed up a few paces. "Well, let's see it."

Double D stared at him blankly. "It, Eddy?"

"How you look!" Eddy retorted, exasperated. "Move your damn arms so I can see if you look like a lady!" Eddy had to physically keep from smacking himself at such a stupid comment.

Double D flushed, embarrassed and angry. He already gave up a good portion of his dignity doing this, the least Eddy could do was act grateful. He lowered his arms to the side and glared. "Well? Does the way I look appease you Eddy? Or would you rather see me twirling or striking a pose?" He snapped, his words coming out more vicious than he had intended.

Eddy decided to ignore Double D's comments. He could already sense the tension between them and he didn't need a fight before he pulled of this scam. He looked him up and down, trying not to admire the natural curves on Double D's body. He congratulated himself on a job well done, even the breasts looked real. But something was still wrong...

And he realized what it was.

"Lose the hat." Eddy blurted out without thinking.

"Excuse me?" Double D asked, incredulous.

Eddy stopped, realizing what he just said. He had been friends with Double D long enough to know how sacred that hat was to him. But, he could never understand why he needed it to hide his hair. Even Eddy could admit that Double D's hair was beautiful, (even by girl standards!) he'd thought so the first and only time he saw it. So, just this once, Double D shouldn't mind taking the hat off, right?

Eddy didn't back down. "You heard me."

Double D couldn't believe Eddy, his _friend_, was asking this of him. Did he even have a single clue of why he wore this hat? Of what he was asking him? After all the years they'd been friends did he even care? Double D stared into Eddy's expressionless face and realized.

No. No, he did not.

Double D felt cold. "_No._" He whispered, the word coming out just as icy as he felt.

Eddy shuddered, despite himself and stared into Edd's emerald eyes. If there was a time they ever looked so cold, he couldn't remember it. Something inside him was telling him too back down, to not broach the subject and respect his privacy.

But, his anger rose quicker.

"Why the hell not?! You can't look like a real girl with that damn hat on! What are you getting so pissy for?!" He yelled, the callous way Double D was looking at him making him fume.

Double D felt tears prick the back of his eyes, but ignored them. _He really didn't understand...'_ He turned around swiftly and pulled open Eddy's front door. "I'm going to change and then I'm going home." He hissed. "You can find someone else to be your pansy."

Eddy saw red. _How_ dare _he talk to me like that!! _He was charging towards Double D before he knew what he was doing, Double D was rolling on the grass before he could even blink.

Double D stared up at Eddy, who was now straddling him, in shock. The anger in his eyes was unmistakable, but Double D just glared coolly back at him prepared for any punch he might get.

He wasn't prepared, however, when Eddy began yanking on his hat.

"Just. Take. The. Damn. Thing. Off!" Eddy growled, having difficulty pulling off the hat with Edd's hands in the way.

"What are you doing?! Get off me!" Double D cried, panic tingeing his voice. He knew Eddy was much stronger than him.

Eddy ignored Double D as he managed to pry his fingers off the hat and pull it off. Long, flowing raven hair spilled onto the grass and Eddy gasped. It was more beautiful than he remembered, even in his dream.

Eddy shook himself of the memory and prepared to gloat. "See? That wasn't so ba..." He cut himself off when he noticed Double D's face.

He was crying.

His hand went to smooth back Double D's hair, in an attempt to comfort, without meaning to. "Double D? Wha-?" He cut himself off again as he felt something in Double D's hair.

More appropriately, on his head.

Finding no answer or resistance from Double D, Eddy parted the hair slowly and gasped. A numerous amount of stitches were closing a large bump on Edd's head. When he looked closer, they looked like they were recent and shoddily done. If Eddy didn't know better, he'd say Edd had attempted to do it himself...

He gazed down at Double D and realized that he was the only one capable of even doing it at all. No one else had the equipment or the means. And, besides that, how could he have gotten such a horrible lump? He knew he sure as hell didn't do it and they hadn't done anything 'painful' for days.

Then who?

"Double D...Who did this to you?"

With a rush of strength unknown to him, Double D pushed Eddy off of him. Without an explanation, he snatched his hat and took off running, tears still running down his face.

Without even thinking, Eddy caught up to him and grabbed his arm. "Where ya goin'? I'm just trying to help!"

Double D pulled away from Eddy's hand violently, the action causing one of the water balloons to pop. He didn't even seem to notice the water now seeping through the dress.

"Get away from me!" Double D sobbed out angrily. "I don't need your help, Eddy! I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself!"

"I don't think you are! You can't even protect yourself from whoever's doin' that to you!" Eddy was enraged. How could he be so blind to his friend's pain? He'd _kill _whoever did that to him!

"Who the hell was it?!" He shouted, shaking Double D's shoulders a little more roughly than necessary. "Was it Kevin?! It was, wasn't it?! That sick bastard! I'll kill him!"

"It wasn't Kevin, Eddy!" Double D shouted, still attempting to control his sobs. "Please let me go..." He tried to pull away, weakly.

Eddy couldn't think anyone else in the cul-de-sac was capable of this. "Then who the _fuck_ was it?!" He growled, ready to attack the first kid Edd said.

Something inside Double D broke and he was whimpering out who did it before he could stop himself.

Eddy could barely hear Double D's mumblings. "Who?"

"My father." Double D whispered before breaking down.


End file.
